Two Mommies

One very unique characteristic of kiddos in foster care is that they have two mommies and two daddies.  As I have mentioned, whenever  a child comes into care, the case plan always starts as reunification and most of the time that means court-ordered supervised visits on a regular basis. These kiddos are transitioning from one home to another and sometimes have a chance to go back to their birth mommy or daddy.   Visits can be very helpful to keep that bond. Sometimes we, as foster parents, don't remember the positive reasons for visits. This is why it was really hard when Cuddle Bug's caseworker called me today and told me a stranger would be picking him up today for his supervised visit. It was difficult, but it's not my responsibility to make a fuss about it or make it more challenging. It's our job as foster parents to help this baby through this. Even for a newborn, it must be confusing and a bit unsettling. So we can cuddle him as much as he wants, we can tell him we love him, and we can tell him his other mommy loves him very much too.

A lot of people have asked me if we will tell any adopted children that they are adopted. We strongly believe that it is in their best interest to know their life story (maybe not all at once, it will be age-appropriate).  For this baby and for any other child that comes into our lives through foster care or adoption, we will tell them all about their two mommies (and daddies). Their tummy mommy grew them in their tummy and loves them very much, but made a few mistakes.  We will always love their tummy mommy and be grateful. They didn't grow in my tummy, but they grew in my heart. I am their heart mommy and I will love them forever. When they are older, we may share more details about their story.

Keep those questions coming!