With Love, Mommy

In my previous post, I started talking about the match meeting process.  I wanted to continue that by talking about the rest of the process.  At this match meeting, the caseworker chooses a family that they think is the best match for the child(ren), and usually they choose a backup if they can.  If you remember, the foster family is not actually allowed to be at the match meeting.  So the licensing worker calls the family after the meeting to let them know they have been chosen, and then they set up another meeting.  Usually the next day, the foster family comes into CPS with the licensing worker and meets with the caseworker.  At this point, the foster family can ask lots of questions about the child and talk about ways to make the transition smooth.  The foster family then has 24 hours to decide if they would like to take this child in to adopt. After the decision is made, the adoptive family works out a plan to transition the child from where he/...

When children come into foster care, there are procedures and laws that professionals must follow.   Immediately they are placed with a foster family (or if a relative is available to parent the child,MIT is called a kinship placement). If CPS realizes that the child is probably not going to be reunified with his birth parents (usually because the birth parents are not doing everything their caseworker has asked them to do, like finding a job, taking parenting classes, and staying clean) to name a few common requirements), they will begin looking at other options. If parents rights are terminated, CPS is required to look at other family members who may be able to adopt the child. If there is no family willing or able, they ask the foster parent usually if they will adopt. In some situations, the foster parent is also not willing or able to adopt the child. Many foster parents are older and have already raised children, so they do not want to parent a young child for that long. This...

Every foster parent knows the meaning of the term "working in partnership," which is expected of us.  The teams and partnership for each child is a foreign concept to those who are not foster parents. Most parents only need to worry about well child visits with the doctor for their child.  I think my family has had plenty of practice with this because of J's medical history.  Now, we are expected to work in partnership with the CPS casemanager, our licensing worker, doctors, therapists, parent aids and any other professionals on the team.  For a young baby, no one expects this team to be too large.  But keeping up with this team has become my third job.  There have been developmental and mental assessments, caseworker visits, supervised visits, licensing visits, and lots of medical checks, including blood work.  Much of my week is spent either in meetings for Cuddle Bug or trying to communicate with various parties.  Oh, and the documentation is n...

One very unique characteristic of kiddos in foster care is that they have two mommies and two daddies.  As I have mentioned, whenever  a child comes into care, the case plan always starts as reunification and most of the time that means court-ordered supervised visits on a regular basis. These kiddos are transitioning from one home to another and sometimes have a chance to go back to their birth mommy or daddy.   Visits can be very helpful to keep that bond. Sometimes we, as foster parents, don't remember the positive reasons for visits. This is why it was really hard when Cuddle Bug's caseworker called me today and told me a stranger would be picking him up today for his supervised visit. It was difficult, but it's not my responsibility to make a fuss about it or make it more challenging. It's our job as foster parents to help this baby through this. Even for a newborn, it must be confusing and a bit unsettling. So we can cuddle him as much as he wants, we can tell him...